NCLEX Study time, redux

So I am doing a lot of practice questions. There's just not that much to talk about with them. They are pretty damn boring overall.

One of my good nursing school friends takes her test 2 days before I take mine, and we have been studying together. Stupidly, I planned a trip to the beach for 4 days the week before I take my test. I'll be studying the whole time. It might help me relax. I started to get worried when I got an email from my new job saying "We REQUIRE you to pass the NCLEX before you start". Jeez, thanks, I didn't think I was panicked enough!

I finally got my ATT

That means I got an authorization number to take my NCLEX. I called to schedule but I have to wait for someone to get back to me. Sigh. This is frustrating. I really just want to get it over with.

They said I would hear back within 3 business days. It's day 2. I am going to go completely insane if I don't hear back soon.

Down to the wire

So, I am in my last few weeks of programming computers and am preparing for my licensure exam. It's really hard to stay on track, really. I'm worried about all kinds of things happening if I don't pass, or if I do.

I am afraid because when I went to new grad day at this hospital, everyone was young and just graduating college at a 4 year school and had all these opportunities I didn't have. I still got a job here, but I worry that I am somehow an impostor and will get "outed" quickly.

I worry that I won't be cut out for the ICU and I'll fail out of orientation on some stupid test.

I worry I'll fail the NCLEX and they'll fire me.

I know these things are stupid, and none of them are really that realistic. But I am scared to death, and lately am not feeling very competent.

Everyone was so happy to graduate, except me. I loved school, I did so well there in a controlled environment and I don't know what to do outside that. It's stupid, but there.