Rinse, lather, repeat

Patients who repeat things indiscriminately can be really funny. A friend's patient had a heavy accent and kept digging in his rectum. People invariably would tell him "stop picking at your bottom" or "stop picking your butt" when they were in his room caring for him. He would repeat it and nod.

So when the attending doctor came in to check how "with it" the guy was and asked him what his name was, the guy looked him straight in the eye and said "stop picking your butt, man!".

Quotes of the day!

(People are running around all crazy because five patients were being admitted into the icu at once)

Doctor: we are getting POUNDED right now.

Nurse (without batting an eye): not as hard as your mom did last night.

___________

Nurse 1: those things are hanging around all over the place, and you really have to keep track of them, they kind of get around...

Nurse 2: kind of like your mom?

___________

Doctor, to patient: so tell me what brought you here tonight.

Patient: I have no idea. I asked these motherfuckers (gesturing at the ems personnel) to take me to a bar but they took me here instead.

___________

Nurse 1:  We just had to go put a flexiseal and a condom catheter in room 19. 

Nurse 2:  Wow, that sounds like some kind of party.  But probably not the kind I would want an invite to.