(call light goes off)
Me: what do you need?
My patient: Am I going to die? I feel like I'm going to die...
Me: No, you're not going to die. (insert various reassuring things and reasons he's not in fact at death's door).
My patient: well, at least don't leave me here in this place... Please?
Me: I can't stay here all night. I have other patients I have to take care of, too. It wouldn't be fair to them.
Ad nauseum all night. Finally the guy's wife calls to find out how he's doing. When I told her all this, you know what she said?
She said, "oh, HE'S THE SAME WAY AT HOME."
Wow, so I guess that's why she wasn't visiting.
Off until next Friday, bitches!
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