The schedule changes are completely killing me. I want to kill some of my fellow new grads because the luck of the draw sucks. How come they give these chicks just out of school with no kids and no significant other straight days and I have to keep switching my days and nights and fucking up my life?
I am seriously wondering if I should just quit, this just feels like too much. My kids don't see me, my husband doesn't see me. I like the unit and have had some good days, great days, so far. But what it's doing to me, and the rest of my life, is not worth it. I still want to be a fucking mother here, and so far that's not been possible.
I miss my kids and husband so much.
I miss my therapist (he's had to go out of town on some family emergency for a couple of weeks now and so I am stuck handling this with my own rudimentary coping skills, like blog posts).
It really shouldn't be more difficult than going to school while working. it shouldn't. But somehow it's killing me over here.
